Quiet…until she gets to know you.
These are just a few ways people describe me. There are probably a few other words not suitable for this blog.
Now picture someone like this in a Pentecostal church environment. Do you envision this person jumping up and down shouting? Probably not.
When it comes time for worship I can often be seen with one hand in my pocket and the other hand holding onto the chair in front of me for balance. On a good day, when I’m not feeling as much pain, it’s both hands in my pockets.
I don’t jump up and down.
I don’t scream or shout.
I don’t sing.
I don’t speak in tongues.
I am a Christian.
If I’m feeling slightly less awkward, I might throw a hand up in the air, but usually only when directed by the worship leader or Pastor.
I worship quietly. I internalize a lot of what I’m feeling.
Why am I telling you this? Because it needs to be said that a lack of acrobatics or shouting does not equate to a lack of Christianity. It’s not a barometer reading that determines how much love ya got for Jesus! My worship may be quiet, but it’s no less powerful.
Not everyone is designed the same way by God; we’re all uniquely built and qualified in different ways. Some of us are meant to be the quiet onlookers who take it all in.
We’re the observers. The quiet few.
Here’s a little secret…we also see your pain when others don’t. We feel it as if it’s our own. Yep, we tend to be empaths. Not all of us, but a large number of us. Keep that in mind when you see us seeking solitude and quiet space. There’s a good reason for it.
God isn’t judging your worship methods
I want you to know that it’s okay that we worship differently. If you’re like me and you worship quietly, don’t ever let anyone make you feel less than. If they tell you that you’re “doing it wrong”, just smile politely and know that God isn’t judging your method. It’s not how you do it, but the simple fact that you ARE doing it. That’s what matters.
So, for all of my fellow awkwards out there and those who love us, but don’t always understand us, I dedicate this to you. Now go get your worship on in whatever way you need to!